I carefully, ungracefully, and unsuccessfully try to pick up the slip of paper. I try again, but I can’t get my kitten mitten-ed fingers under the paper. I hate when this happens. I bend over to read the paper, and, thankfully, the words are on the top side. I read, horrified:
Whomever the kitten mittens have bitten, three times shall be smitten. And thus it is written.
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